And girls wanna have fun(damental) human rights. My name is Michelle Abiero and I am a feminist. The most controversial thing I have said in my entire existence is that I am a feminist. Sometime last year I voiced my views on feminism. At the time, I didn’t understand this ‘movement’ fully but now I can confidently say I do understand the need of feminism. One of the things that shape my view on feminism is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED talk ‘We Should All Be Feminists’ . You probably know it from Flawless by Queen Bey (Beyonce). To kick off this post, I have decided to quote the song.
As a feminist, I am viewed as a man-hating, angry female which of course doesn’t describe me at all. I don’t hate all men, I just hate men who rape, abuse and kill women. I hate men who treat women like second class citizens and men who fail to understand consent. I hate men who men who feel entitled, for just being men. I sincerely apologize if my thoughts on how decent people behave offends your fragile masculinity.
Being born a female in this world is tragic to say the least. We have to deal with certain things men don’t have to and of course that makes me angry. I AM AN ANGRY FEMINIST. I am angry the society teaches young girls that their hugest accomplishment is marriage. A woman cannot be in her thirties and unmarried, it is simply a taboo. From a young age in school, anytime a girl was caught doing anything wrong we would be asked ” What man will marry you?” This statement makes me beyond angry. My blood boils. We teach girls to compete for the attention of men. I have seen girls tearing each other apart because of a man, sis is it really worth it? We teach girls that it is okay to stay in abusive marriages/ relationships since being unmarried is a taboo.
Dear men, I would like you to understand what consent is. Since some of y’all seem to be illiterate, I will give the definition from Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary 9th edition.
Give permission for something to happen.
‘he consented to a search by a detective’
1.1with infinitive Agree to do something.
‘he had consented to serve as external assessor on the panel’
This is what consent is. Now when you ask girl to have sex with you and she says no, just swallow your fragile masculinity and go your way. It is that simple. Lord knows I am tired of being unable to go for a jog at past 7pm or at 5am. It is dehumanizing know that a girl will get raped and will be told well it will destroy his future. How about her? She is someone too. Don’t come at me with this nonsense that women will lie that they were raped for attention. Can you recall any of the names in Bill Cosby’s rape case? I didn’t think so.Only 2-8% of rapes are falsely reported. Believe the victim. It is funny how straight men understand consent when a gay man tries to touch them. Another thing that we are tired of is being treated like sexual objects. Don’t come into my DMs telling me that I have lovely boobs. DON’T. I am disgusted by men who hold their crotches in public while looking at women. I am tired of men who insult me when I don’t respond to their catcalls. I am most definitely tired of girls being slut-shamed. It is her body for crying out loud.
It is frustrating to know that I maybe more qualified or better trained than a man but he’s more likely to get a job. It is sad to know that if a woman wants to get ahead at work, she may have to use her body. It is degrading to be told that my place is in the kitchen/ home. I am beyond tired of toxic masculinity and if you feel particularly offended by what I have written, you are part of the problem.
Dear females, it is NOT okay to physically or emotionally abuse men. I acknowledge the fact that there are female abusers out here, I do. I also acknowledge the fact that men too can be raped, and they too get emotionally damaged by this. Toxic masculinity has also hurt the boy child. We have taught men that they aren’t supposed to speak up about their emotions. This probably explains why more men attempt suicide than women. Talking about your emotions isn’t a feminine thing. This needs to change, we need to unlearn all this.